Excited to go…afraid to leave……

I leave today for four days and three nights with the hubs in Puerto Rico! I can’t believe after all these months of counting down that the day is finally here!!! I’m ready for this……

cancun

cocktails by the pool

And some relaxing with the hubs like this……(no places to rush off to, no phones ringing, kids yelling….just us)

cancun3

But….before we can get to that…..I’ve got the packing to do……I picked up my reading material for the flight (otherwise I will talk my poor husband’s ear off). You can see all the jewelry I am putting aside to take with me and all the 3 oz. bottles I snagged at target…haha.

puerto rico packing

However…in all honesty…It’s not the packing that is on my mind…..it’s these little ones……

68747_10151160118421108_1748919896_n

whenever the hubby and I leave for a trip….I can’t help but wonder…

what if we don’t come back?

Do you ever think about that?

I have cried everyday in the shower this week thinking about that. Some of you might think, “that’s a terrible thought!”…but just look at the Boston Marathon. I’m sure none of those people were thinking their lives would be changed forever….

 I just LOVE my children that much. I don’t want them to ever deal with the pain of losing their parents at an early age. It makes me overwhelmed that my tender little children could possibly have to suffer. However, I can’t live my life in fear either. I want my children to know that I lived life to the fullest.

Legal Zoom has helped me to practically handle all my concerns if something was to happen. (once again, I cried as I completed this process…..)

My feelings are summed up pretty well in this song by Garth Brooks…….

“If tomorrow never comes….will she know how much I loved her….did I try in every way to show her everyday…that she’s my only one? And if my time on earth were through, and she must face this world without me…is the love I gave her in the past going to be enough to last…if tomorrow never comes……

So….I will kiss their little cheeks tonight as they go to bed. I will sing them their personal bedtime songs and snuggle in for some kisses and hugs….and I will pray that I’m blessed enough to return to them.

Lord God, watch over my little babies. Keep them safe…..

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10 thoughts on “Excited to go…afraid to leave……

  1. chrissy

    Tam, I always feel the same way when we go away. And the Legal zoom procedure is emotionally BRUTAL. I know you guys will have an awesome trip. LOVE YOU!!

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  2. Jen

    Have a safe and wonderful trip! I do always think about those scary possibilities too. But, I actually think your talk about your trip has convinced me that I really SHOULD take the opportunity to get away for one night with my husband before baby #3 arrives. No, we don’t really need it, and we could always use the money for something else, but it would be good for us. Even a great marriage benefits from some extra investment. So thanks!

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    1. T

      Great post! Right there with ya! We’ll be at FUS all weekend. The kiddos will be in good hands and they’ll have their own great weekend. But I think the same thought…what if…
      I guess this is when God says to place our trust in Him.
      Have a great trip!!

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