When everyone “seems” to have it all together but us….Moms: 7 ways we are hurting ourselves…..

Oh, man. I gotta tell you that on Monday, I was not a happy momma. Multiple times on Monday I wanted to ship my kiddos off somewhere. I gotta tell you on days like that, I usually take a few minutes and hit up Instagram and check “Scary Mommy”. There is usually some sort of funny “what I’m really thinking” caption there. Thankfully, they did not disappoint.

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Between the sass of Sweet Pea; the naggy, whiny moans about doing Math from DDD; and the runny nose of Miss Missy, and the MOUNTAIN of dishes awaiting me from the weekend..I was pretty well fried. Monday had barely started, and I was waving the white flag of surrender.

No inspiration quote was going to get me out of this rut. I wasn’t up for the “put on your big girl pants”motivational talk from myself. What I really wanted to do was crawl back in bed with a hot cup of tea….or a chilled bottle of prosecco…..

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this is my “seriously?!” look

Dreading the rest of the day, I opened the refrigerator door to think about dinner…urgh…It was then that I saw the lamb leg roast that I was defrosting.  I had forgotten that I was making a lamb roast for dinner, and I became motivated by that simple thought. The thought of filling my home with the smell of roasting carrots and potatoes was enough to calm me. It may sound trivial, but I was excited to make my first “lamb roast”. As I went to post it on my facebook, I quickly retracted my post to include how I was feeling.

Why?

Because….who makes a lamb roast on Monday?

(one of my friends actually commented something to this effect)

Certainly only moms who have all their “$#@!” together, right??!!

hahahaha…..not true.

I’m definitely a “hostess”. I love to make yummy meals and watch my family indulge in them. However, I wanted other moms to know that today…..was AWFUL!

I was making a lamb roast while a foot away a pile of pots and pans awaited me.

My son was sitting at the breakfast room table repeating every Math problem and moaning about how he couldn’t “remember” doing those problems yesterday…..(insert sarcastic eye roll)

I was looking at the list of office calls that I was suppose to finish today and I had not made even one call.

My oldest had just made some comment about me “never listening” and stomped up to her room…..

and the hubs sent me a quick “reminder” about how he would take a “break” for dinner but work most of the night….Yippee~~~

All of that….and yes….I was making a lamb roast.

While that lamb roasted for an hour and a half, I was going to be finishing up all of these activities that were surrounding me and I was going to try and regain some peace in my mind and in my home.

Moms…..we are the heart of the home.

heart of the home

The heart of the home…..that’s such an amazing concept. I think it encapsulates how emotionally draining our job is. How, we as women, seek out love and friendship, especially from among other women. How we desire to speak with other women, and share our struggles, and our joys. But when that heart is hurting, how quickly things can fall apart.How quickly we turn to social media to “escape” what is happening in our home or create our own view of “reality”. We look at our peers and we make judgments or we grow “envious” of what their Facebook lives look like. We allow ourselves to judge others and to assume somehow their lives are easier than ours.

When I first started blogging, this was one of the main goals of my blogs. I wanted my readers to feel like we were “girlfriends” just hanging out. I wanted people to read my entries and laugh or be profoundly changed.  I wanted to be that “friend” who always spoke their mind, and held nothing back. I wanted my readers to see the struggle to raise my five children as Christians, in a world that makes few things easy. I wanted to inspire moms to get more involved with their children and seek out ways to love themselves. I wanted to be that friend who painted the real picture of reality and then passed you the wine glass to take it all in. haha. Clearly, my blog title alone tells you how much I enjoy making memories; laughing with friends; and just hanging out.

So…what’s this blog entry all about….well…it’s about the seven ways that we are hurting the “heart of the home”.…..

Let’s take a few minutes, and do a brief examination of ourselves. How many of these are you guilty of? Are you hurting yourself by not doing for yourself?

Not taking time for ourselves: Are you a natural giver? Do you give tirelessly and have nothing left for yourself?

Emotional eating: Do you eat when you are mad? sad?frustrated? or to celebrate something? Do you use food to cope with things that are upsetting you?

Tackling too much: Are you constantly asked to organize groups or meetings? Are you unable to say no even at the detriment to you or your family?

Not having a good “listening ear”: This one is tough. Do you “half listen” when your children are talking to you? or better yet..”your spouse”? Do you miss opportunities to grow closer to those around you by being a good listening ear? Do others see you as a tremendous friend that they can talk to?

Seeking perfectionism: Do you have unhealthy views of yourself? Are you never “good enough”? Do you hold unrealistic views of motherhood? keeping a home? being a friend? Are you deeply saddened by our inability to meet your own standards?

Not looking out for our own health and fitness: Do you make time to work out and exercise your body? Do you seek to eat healthy and take care of yourself? or are you sluggish and tired often? Do you place a high value on your sleep and taking care of yourself? Are you a good example of “taking care of the body that God gave you”?

Not enough prayer time:  Do you take daily time for prayer? Do you look to improve your relationship with the Lord daily? Do you take breaks in your day to refocus on prayer and give your struggles/anxieties/burdens to the Lord?

Lent is a great time when we are walking through the “desert” of our life in the Church to examine some of these areas where we can “fail” ourselves. How can we truly “love” ourselves and be a truly loving heart in our home? I would say…that it starts with us. We have to remember that we are daughters and sons of a great God who seeks to share His love with us. Don’t look at these questions as a “list of failing areas”, rather I would encourage you to take these things to prayer. Maybe you are struggling and haven’t been able to “pinpoint” your feelings or thoughts..this list may be a good starting point for you.

May you find joy in rediscovering how to “love” yourself.

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God Bless,

Tammi

 

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