Tag Archives: friendship

The gift of friendship…

I love when I find an old blog post in my “drafts” section that just NEEDS to be published….life gets busy and sometimes posts don’t get finished….so…here it is…..

The gift of friendship…

Priceless….

Inexpensive….

Today our family got to soak in the beauty of friendship and the joy of spending time with friends…

And it made me realize how much I miss the simple days of just hanging out with friends and family.

It made me realize how much I miss board games, and puzzles, and the simple joys of laughing with others.

I have realized, lately, how much I enjoy people. How much my heart yearns for fellowship and how much I enjoy loving people and sharing myself and my life with others.

I remember when my oldest was a baby, we used to spend countless weekends with our sister-in-law and her family. Pack n play stored in the trunk, we would set off for an evening of appetizers, and games. The little babies would each have their own bedroom in which we set up their pack n play until we snatched them up to go home. We played countless games of Charades, Passwords, Mafia, and cards.

However, as our families continued to grow, we overgrew the number of bedrooms needed, and our “get togethers ” became harder and harder with multiple children, schedules, and more siblings joining in.

I have fond memories of those times.

Today was such a gift to my family that I didn’t want it to end.

When I woke up this morning, all I could think about were the dishes that filled my sink , and were scattered around my counter.

The past two days had been a mess of quick meals, and long days of Godspell rehearsals and show times. The  house was beginning to show the effects of people who were still living there, but no one was cleaning up.

Reality check…I am not a super clean person. I don’t claim to be. haha.

To say it was overwhelming, would be an understatement.

After sending the kiddos off with their Saturday chore list, I hit the kitchen to tackle those dishes and mop the floor that was horribly overdue.

As I washed dishes, and blasted my Christian praise music, It was pretty relaxing to have a Saturday at home. It was nice to have a few moments of quiet while the kiddos worked diligently in the other rooms.

Then I got a quick text from a girlfriend who wanted to pick up a coupon that she needed.

Typically, I would just have one of the kiddos run the coupon out to her…however, I decided today to send a quick text back inviting her to hang out for a few minutes if she wanted.

What was suppose to be a quick “stop”, turned into a wonderful visit complete with a karaoke “sing off” with all the kiddos.

This afternoon was filled with laughter, and tons of smiles, and it was awesome.

It made me realize that I miss the simple days of hosting people.

Not the ” Pinterest success” type of hosting but the simple invitation for someone to come into your house and just enjoy your company.

I love that out-of-town friends will call and give me a “heads up” if they are in town. I love throwing a quick dinner date together for a college niece or nephew, and I love throwing a niece or nephew in my van for a sleepover or quick play date.

It’s not a sacrifice for me.

It’s pure joy.

It’s one of the ways that I love people. 

I cherish my friendships..and it’s something that I have clearly passed on to my children.

I love to see them walk with their arm around the shoulders of a friend.

I love seeing my teenager daughter laughing as she chats with her girlfriends on the phone.

I watch out the window as my son makes another nerf battle video with his neighborhood friend…and smile.

I love knowing that I have given my children the greatest gift in each other.

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As I think about friendship, the ultimate friend is one who will lay down their life for a friend.

I think about how amazing it must have been to be one of the Apostles.

To sit in the company of Christ.

How much joy that must have brought to those tired and restless hearts….

To sit, eat and drink with Christ whose very essence was love.

To feel the peace that His Spirit brought about in their souls.

To neglect sleep, and work only to sit and soak up all that He was.

At one point today, I looked around and everyone was laughing watching one of the kids sing…..

There is a beauty in being with people who are so genuine.

People who you see that radiate the love of Christ.

We are God’s gift to each other.

The body of Christ, the community of believers, who seek His face in each other.

Today was a beautiful gift to my family.

It is a beautiful gift to me.

A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter. He whom has found one, has found a treasure. A faithful friend is beyond price, no sum can balance their worth.” – Sirach 6:14-15

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Honesty…the Wings of Freedom

Honesty…..

It’s definitely a little “plant” that the Lord has been working on with me over the past month.

The “seeds” of this blog were planted during a conversation with one of the mothers at my monthly co-op. I had been making a point of trying to converse with her more this past year, as she seemed to be “hanging out” more than I remember in previous years. As we started to share with each other, I began to realize that I didn’t really know this woman at all. I had developed perceptions of who I thought she was…but I was wrong.

And all it took, was just talking to her.

Standing in front of her without judgement, two people willing to listen to whatever each other wanted to say. The two of us willing to share with each other, not concerned about what was going on around us. Just willing to listen.

It was about being able to say “wow, I didn’t know that about you at all. Thanks for sharing that about yourself”.

It’s about recognizing the vulnerability of the person who is trusting you with part of their heart.

Then a few nights ago, I was reading in my Blessed is She journal, and the beautiful Elizabeth Foss was discussing the notion of hypocrites and stated:

“God doesn’t ask you to be perfect, but he does want you to be honest”.

There it was again….

The “H” word…..honesty….

Ok, Lord….you got it…

I’ll write from my heart about honesty.

Why is it so hard for us to be honest with people?

I believe that it takes a lot of vulnerability, confidence, and holy boldness…….but I also believe that it gives us the wings of freedom.

Don’t you want to be free in your relationships???!!!

How many of us go to bed at night thinking I wish a had someone who truly understood me or maybe you think If people really knew the real me, would they still be friends with me?

People are attracted to genuineness and honesty.

A few years ago, I sat down with two of my sister-in-laws and confessed that I wasn’t being honest with them in our relationships. I told them that I often left family gatherings feeling frustrated by things that they said, or that I replayed conversations in my head for days. I confessed that I didn’t like feeling like I was “holding a grudge” about an earlier event but I also didn’t feel like I was being honest and things needed to change.

I think they were initially quite surprised, as they didn’t know I felt this way. I continued, adding that I was going to “speak my mind”, and I might start offending people but that I needed a different level of friendship with them, and it meant being able to be perfectly honest.

Over the next few months, some of my text messages were a little sassy at times. I spent time sending messages about my gratitude and appreciation for little loving gestures, and I enjoyed answering the text messages about “what I thought about__________”. These same sisters realized that my honesty was refreshing. They knew they could come to me for advice, and then could also hang up the phone and not wonder what my ‘real thoughts’ were on a subject we had discussed.

There was freedom for them in being able to talk to someone who would deliver honesty, and yet care about them.

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God wants us all to speak truth.

He wants others to be drawn to the freedom that we elude when we live a life in His Truth. A life that grants us true freedom.

A life where we are free to be who we choose to be, not who we think people would like better.

God doesn’t want us to live our life through perception…concerned only with how others see our marriages, our children, or our lifestyle.

God wants our lives to be transparent and honest….to be looking at our family from a realistic place of where God has us.

To me, there is nothing more beautiful that a person who has the interior freedom to be who they want to be.

When I was in college, I had this friend named “Ducky”. I believe he got that nickname because of his similarities with the character from the movie “Pretty in Pink”. He had a crazy sense of style, but such a warm and loving heart. I remember the first time I met him just beaming. I remember thinking to myself this guy is crazy funny…and his laugh is infectious. As college progressed, “Ducky” and I went on a mission trip to Florida together and we were able to have some quality time hanging out around a camp fire. I learned rather quickly that “Ducky” had a lot to teach me about being true to who I was. He talked to me about his love for Our Lady and he was never without his rosary beads. I have vivid memories of his mad dance skills, and his love for good music. You couldn’t help but be happy when Ducky was around. He was the genuine deal….and everyone knew him and loved him.

I also believe that God puts people in our lives to share our hearts with.

Who are these people God has placed in your life? Are there people that you need to invite “in”? People who you know you could be closer with if you shared more of yourself with them?

What are you afraid of?

Share. Share your thoughts….and your heart.

Ask the Lord to make these people clear to you.

Allow the Lord to give you wings of freedom, so that you can experience true friendship with other men/women.

Be willing to be that honest and genuine friend to others.

“A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter. He who has found ONE has found a treasure”. – Sirach 6:14

God bless,

Tammi